Motherhood

Tiny Victories

It’s finally happening. I am starting to get the hang of this whole two kid thing.

I actually just laughed out loud a little as I wrote that, because my littlest baby is seven months old. SEVEN MONTHS GUYS.

For what felt like a long time I was feeling so discouraged about not getting in a rhythm with the boys. Laundry was piled sky high, our sink constantly full of dishes, and mentally I was just a wreck. The only time I would actually find time to change out of my pajamas was when I had to go to work. I didn’t even take both of the boys to the grocery store until Easton was six months old. It was amazing how time seemed to be standing still as I tried to find my way as a mom of two and flashing by me at the same time as I looked down at my baby and realized that I don’t have a newborn anymore. Potty training with Liam was going horribly. Easton was still waking up three times or more at night to nurse or just to be held. I was at my breaking point and wondering what the heck was wrong with me that I could not get a handle on running my home. I would call my mom and ask her to come help me because I just couldn’t do it all no matter how hard I tried.

I would pray and ask God why He was letting this happen. Why couldn’t my kid just PEE AND POO IN THE TOILET? Or why can’t you help me figure out how to get Easton to sleep more than 2 hours at a time? I would pray for patience and for my frustration level and I was so defeated because I felt like He wasn’t saying anything back. I felt really alone. Have you ever had a season where you felt like God just couldn’t hear you? That’s where I was at.

Insecure. Exhausted. Defeated.

But slowly I noticed that the tides are turning. I am actually getting in that rhythm and feeling accomplished at the end of the day instead of defeated. Liam is starting to get better at pottying in the toilet (which means I’m not washing five pairs of underwear a day. HALLELUJAH.) and Easton is beginning to sleep a little bit better (guys he only woke up ONE time last night!!!! ANNNND slept in his crib the entire night.) Tiny victories. The dishes are getting washed and the laundry is actually making it into the closets and drawers. Instead of being overwhelmed to the point of breaking down, I am actually enjoying my days. I’m feeling God’s presence again instead of feeling isolated and alone. And that is a big victory.

Life is funny with the seasons it throws you. You adapt and learn, and something that once was so hard slowly becomes the new normal. I think I am finally getting to that place. So be encouraged if you’re in a season of life where you feel like you’re falling short. Even when you feel alone, God is working on you and carrying you. Isn’t that beautiful?

Tiny victories, big victories, and everything in between.

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